1. Describe what you do for a living. What do you like about your work?
I’m an HR manager at KPMG LLP, which is an accounting firm, not a radio station. Millennials gasp when I tell them this, but I’ve been with the company for almost 19 years. It was my first ‘real’ job after college. For the past three years, I’ve also been pastoring at The Bridge Church in Bayside, Queens. We’re a small church with 30 or so members but with a lot of heart and a passion! The funny thing is that in many ways, I believe my experience as an HR manager has equipped me with the tools to be a better pastor. What I like about my job in HR is that every day brings new surprises and challenges and the opportunity to help people during a difficult point in their life. That having been said, pastoring is where I’ve found my true calling and sense of purpose.
2. What are you learning right now about what it means to be a man, about becoming a better man?
My dad comes from a culture where men bury their feelings and demonstrate their love and loyalty to the family through hard work and putting food on the table. Although I always knew my dad loved me, he wasn’t able to verbalize his feelings until much later in life. We now enjoy a much more open relationship where we can express our feelings towards one another and it’s been a blessing. To be fair, it still doesn’t come naturally for me either, so I try to be intentional about creating opportunities where my sons and I can connect with one another.
3. Tell us about something that’s inspiring or exciting you right now that you want to recommend to fellow TSC members.
I’m in my last semester of seminary and I’m taking a class where we’re really doing a lot of introspection and self-reflection. I’m really grateful for the opportunity to go to school for something I’m passionate about. I encourage the dads in this club to consider auditing a class at nearby school or taking a class online for personal enrichment. Auditing a class typically costs a fraction of the cost of the normal tuition for a class.
4. Tell us about a challenge you’re facing in your life and how you’re seeking to overcome or grow through this challenge.
Like many parents living in this fast-paced world, finding balance is a challenge. What I’m learning to do is to accept the fact that while I can’t change certain situations or circumstances in my life, I can change how react to them. I’ve also made a commitment to set aside 10-15 minutes in the early morning to meditate and start the day with clear mind and heart.
5. What do you do for fun? How are you trying to have more of this fun?
My favorite hobby is fishing. There’s something about being out on the water with the warm sun shining on your face that I find very enjoyable and relaxing. Now that the boys are a little older, I’m trying to get them into fishing. Unfortunately, last summer, I took them out on a charter boat and the conditions got bad pretty quickly. Of course, I had forgotten to bring Dramamine and we ended up spending most of the trip, um, chumming the waters. My next trip will be less ambitious, we’ll be heading over to a lake.
6. What do you enjoy about being a member of Three Sons Club?
The sense of community and connection. Its good for fathers to have a network of other fathers to encourage one another and to be able to share the good, the bad and the ugly of fatherhood. It’s great to see that more members are joining on a daily and weekly basis from all walks of life. The only thing I want to add is that if you’re gifting a membership, remember to let the person know. My membership was gifted to me but the giver forgot to tell me and I freaked out when I started getting mail from someone in California who knew I had three sons.